What Are You Committed To?

1998

Father’s Day is almost here. It got me thinking about this important question: 

What are the things that my child sees that I’m dedicated to?  

What we are committed to in life is very important. You will not be able to lead your children any farther spiritually than you are yourself. 

What do your kids see that you are committed to?

 Do they have lasting value? 

Here are a few suggestions.

• Commit yourself to knowing and loving God.

• Commit yourself to learning to love other people.

• Commit yourself to growing in character.

• Commit yourself to serving other people unselfishly.

My hope is that my son sees some evidence of the above in my life. I don’t want my son to be pressure driven, guilt driven, worry driven, resentment driven, crowd driven, peer driven, or dare I say it -- church driven?  I want him to be free to love God and other people. 

You and I are not going to be with our children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn’t going to last forever, but it’s never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. Lead by loving. Love your children and the people around you. 

Mentoring Matters

Do you have a mentor? Have you ever mentored someone? I was fortunate to become friends with a couple of great people when I first got involved in ministry who were older and wiser than me. In Christian circles we use the word disciple instead of mentor. In the scriptures Jesus had disciples and told his followers to make disciples. But what does that mean to you and me?

I don’t see a lot of that happening in churches and when I have seen some, it seems to be almost in an unhealthy way, leaning more towards controlling and manipulation.

But ssk any successful person this question, and they will surely tell you stories about how their deep, long-standing relationships with their school coaches or mentors helped inspire, guide, and support them throughout their career. Great mentor-mentee relationships, rich in knowledge, advice, and perspective, are often formed over months and years of conversations and shared experiences.

I know many of my readers have a church background and some of you have seen negative things when it comes to “leaders” trying to speak into your lives. The truth is we need mentors and should be mentors to others. Here are some suggestions on how we can accomplish this so that our lives as well as others can improve.

Being a great mentor (and a great mentee) starts with listening.

Listening is the key component of a mentor-mentee relationship,it’s important for mentors to listen and understand ideas, approaches, strengths, and weaknesses.

Being a good mentor and a mentee isn’t about giving great answers, but asking great questions.

Good decisions come from good questions. And as a mentor, be aware of what you know and what you don’t know, and develop an awareness about your biases.

Assume responsibility for your advice and your decisions.

As a mentor, instead of pressing a person on the decisions they made, work to understand their individual situation and rationale behind their initial ideas. At the end of the day, it’s the mentee who decide what is best for their lives. Listen, challenge, use, reject, and move forward. A mentor’s advice doesn’t have to be implemented.

I’m a firm believer that mentoring, (discipleship in the church setting), happens through relationships. Trying to force something will only cause frustration on everyone’s part.

So...did anyone mentor you? Are you mentoring someone? Is there an opportunity for you to be a part of this process?