What's The Problem?

Years ago I was part of an organization that put a lot of guilt on people. One time in a meeting, one of the group’s main leaders was chastising us because our churches were not growing fast enough. He said, “Your problem is you just don't love God enough.”

When I heard that, I had had enough! I stood up and said, “That's not the problem. The problem is not that we don't love God enough. The problem is that we don't understand how much he loves all of us!”

Let this sink in: Your first duty in life is not to do anything but just be loved and accepted by God. 

When you embrace that truth, life becomes less of a burden. You may be under a lot of stress right now because of the economy, but God still wants you to enjoy life.

We can enjoy life because our conscience is clear. We can enjoy life because we are secure within love. You can have fun and laugh. You can enjoy people because you don’t have to work for their acceptance. You can be yourself and allow your unique gifts and talents to come out!

So….has your life become more about rules, regulations, and rituals than about love?

Photo from darthqueso.tumblr.com

Keys To Rewarding Year

One of the keys to a great year ahead is being at peace with yourself and others. When you are able to accept yourself the way you are, and the way God loves and accepts you, you'll find self-acceptance and you won’t feel insecure, so imperfect or incapable. That doesn’t negate the need to change but by learning to accept yourself you will take your life to a higher level. Besides a strong increase in your self-confidence, you will also save time and energy you can spend on other valuable things. 

Self-acceptance is not an easy nor a very fast process, but you can start with the steps described below to see some results.

Accept in 2013 that you will make mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes and everybody should make mistakes. Not doing everything perfectly is an important part of life. Without making mistakes you are not able to learn.
Actually, talking about ‘mistakes’ doesn’t help you very much. You can simply substitute the word ‘mistakes’ by ‘results’. Everything you will do will lead to results. Results are neither good nor bad, but depending on the goal you can label them as either desirable or non-desirable.
Are you getting results which are non-desirable? Then you know you should approach your goal in a different way.
Making a mistake is not a judgment about who you are and what you can do. It is only a non-desirable result from your actions.  You can and should learn from this. Because he who can interpret results can adapt his behavior in the future.
So don’t be scared to make mistakes and don’t let it affect you too much. Learn of your mistakes and carry on with your life.

Accept you can’t change the past

Your past is forgiven. Things that have happened can’t be changed anymore. You can’t change the past. What is, is. Period.
Therefore, don’t be too worried about everything that has happened. Look into the future and accept your life the way it has ran it course so far.
Understand that your past has formed you to become who you are now, where you are now and what you are doing now. The future is wide open. Do you want to let a troublesome past behind you? If so, choose a different path in 2013.

Accept the opinion of others

Yes other people will always have an opinion about you. Try not to see this as problematic. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and their own judgment about something. Know that other people will never fully know you. They don’t know your complete story, so any judgment whatsoever has no basis.
This doesn’t mean that this can’t hurt. It’s an art to make the positive voice within stronger than the negative voices without. Don’t let others humiliate you. You know that you are an amazing person created in God’s image.
You don’t have to ignore other opinions, but you can value them objectively and decide for yourself whether to do something with it in your life or not.
Other people aren’t always right, so don’t just take what they say as the truth. Especially when this has a negative impact on your self-image.

Accept your own responsibility

You and I are responsible for everything we think, everything we say and everything we do. You are also (partly) responsible for the results of your thoughts, words and actions. On top of that, you are responsible for noticing the connection between your actions and their results.
What does this mean? It means that you are responsible for your own happiness. When you want to be completely happy you should do this yourself. Nobody will stop by to make you happy, no matter how much you hope for this to happen.
When you feel bad and you don’t tell anybody about it, there will be nobody to call you to check how you are doing. You determine a large part of your own life, so take your responsibility and accept that you have to take action yourself if you want to feel happy.

This new year can be a great one if you move forward and don’t stay stuck in a past of guilt and condemnation.

Hope For The New Year?

When the clock strikes twelve on December 31st, people all over the world cheer and wish each other a very Happy New Year. For some, the New Year symbolizes the beginning of a better tomorrow. For me, it brings a reminder to cherish the people in my life today.

 No one knows what the New Year will bring, but I can bring some hope into the lives around me in 2013. So if you look forward to a good year ahead, practice some of these things below. It can change someone’s life and also your own in 2013.

Acceptance is when we willingly and unconditionally love someone. Can you look beyond a person’s faults and still care for them? There’s not a better way to give a person hope than by accepting them for who they are, not for what they do.

Love is expressing care through physical touch and tender words. Tell people you love them. Tell your spouse, your children, and your colleagues. Tell people in the hospital, at weddings, at funerals. Try calling someone today and say, “I wanted to give you a quick call to tell you thank you for being part of our church family and for being a good friend. I love you, and I’m proud to call you friend.”

Approval is by building up or affirming a person and acknowledging the importance of the relationship. An employer I know called out a young man in an employee meeting: “Josh, the way you organize the office has made everybody so pleased. We can find things now. You are making everybody’s work so much easier. Thank you so much.” The boss made a big deposit.

Connection is when we enter another person’s world. There is no substitute for spending time with someone. And it’s not just time—it’s time and really listening to people from your heart. If you will truly listen to someone, whether they are happy or sad, they will feel better. “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” David Augsburger

Encouragement happens when urging people to hang in there, to persist toward the goal they so want to achieve. Send notes, phone someone, pray with someone, take someone to dinner or a movie. People are dying for someone to say, “I’m so proud of what you are doing. You make this world a better place to live in.”

Respect is by honoring and regarding people as important. Do you show deference to your spouse’s opinion? Do you listen to your children? Do you respect people’s time? Do you respect people from different backgrounds and religions?

No one is promised tomorrow, so let’s make sure we appreciate those around us today.

Happy New Year!

Do You Have That Gut Feeling?

I've discovered  if people are not on my heart, they're on my nerves.  If you don't have your kids in your heart, they get on your nerves.  If you don't have your wife in your heart, she gets on your nerves.

The reason so many relationships are crumbling is that folks are reacting to each other from their mind rather than their heart. When your wife says, "I feel depressed" listen to her; it's legitimate.  When your husband says, "I don't feel this is the right thing we ought to do." Consider what he has to say.

Heart love begins with understanding why someone feels the way they do. Ask questions and then listen. Hear the hurt, look for the problems. We need to understand the moods of the people closest to us, why they act the way they do.  If you care, you'll be aware. I’m not saying this is easy. 
Relationships can be difficult at times, I blow it all the time but I keep trying.

How do you love people who, even when you do understand them, you find them unlovable?

"God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:8 NIV) 

In Greek, (the language I struggled with so much in college), the word "affection" is the word for intestines.
In Greek society, the Greeks thought that the seat of the emotions was in your stomach, your liver, your internal organs.

So Paul was saying, "I've got a gut feeling of love for you." That is not a natural kind of love.  It is a supernatural kind of love and that's why Paul said it's not from himself, but it's the affection of Christ.  Human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine. The only kind of love that lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God's love.

So how do you get this kind of gut love? God's love is not something you work up.  It is something that is poured into you by the Spirit as you let Him live in you day-by-day.

Do you have a gut feeling about someone?

Don't Condemn Culture

I decided over thirty years ago I wanted to have a ministry like Jesus. Which means, I don’t spend any of my time condemning culture.  Why?  Because Jesus didn’t.  He said “I didn’t come to condemn the world; I came to save it.”

Many Christians spend a lot of their time condemning the world, saying how badly society sucks, then looking for a political solution to figure out how to get rid of the suckiness.  Neither of those work.  Spending all your time condemning society won’t change it, and looking for a political answer to solve the problem of society won’t change it either.  

God so loved the world he didn’t send a politician.  Why?  Because you can’t change people’s hearts by laws.  No law will turn a bigot into somebody who will love all the races.  Only God can get rid of racism in the heart.  Only God can get rid of selfishness in the heart.  No law is going to turn people who are selfish into unselfish people.  Jesus said, “I didn’t come to condemn the world.  I came to save it.”  So no matter what I’ve done, God wants me.  
 
Remember the story of the prodigal son, the kid who tells his father, “dad give me my half of the inheritance” and he splits and goes to sunset strip in Jerusalem and spends all his money on wine, women, and song – mostly women?  He ends up feeding pigs in a pigsty.  He finally realizes this doesn’t work so he goes home to his dad with a humble attitude, smelling of the pigsty.  The father runs out to greet his younger son.  He grabs him in a big bear hug, My son has come home!  Let’s have a party.  

He doesn’t say to his son, “Son, go and get a bath.  Get shaved.  Put on some clean clothes.  Get rid of that stinking pig smell and then I’ll give you a bear hug.”  No, he says I love you just the way you are.

God loves and accepts you just the way you are.