Mentoring Matters

Do you have a mentor? Have you ever mentored someone? I was fortunate to become friends with a couple of great people when I first got involved in ministry who were older and wiser than me. In Christian circles we use the word disciple instead of mentor. In the scriptures Jesus had disciples and told his followers to make disciples. But what does that mean to you and me?

I don’t see a lot of that happening in churches and when I have seen some, it seems to be almost in an unhealthy way, leaning more towards controlling and manipulation.

But ssk any successful person this question, and they will surely tell you stories about how their deep, long-standing relationships with their school coaches or mentors helped inspire, guide, and support them throughout their career. Great mentor-mentee relationships, rich in knowledge, advice, and perspective, are often formed over months and years of conversations and shared experiences.

I know many of my readers have a church background and some of you have seen negative things when it comes to “leaders” trying to speak into your lives. The truth is we need mentors and should be mentors to others. Here are some suggestions on how we can accomplish this so that our lives as well as others can improve.

Being a great mentor (and a great mentee) starts with listening.

Listening is the key component of a mentor-mentee relationship,it’s important for mentors to listen and understand ideas, approaches, strengths, and weaknesses.

Being a good mentor and a mentee isn’t about giving great answers, but asking great questions.

Good decisions come from good questions. And as a mentor, be aware of what you know and what you don’t know, and develop an awareness about your biases.

Assume responsibility for your advice and your decisions.

As a mentor, instead of pressing a person on the decisions they made, work to understand their individual situation and rationale behind their initial ideas. At the end of the day, it’s the mentee who decide what is best for their lives. Listen, challenge, use, reject, and move forward. A mentor’s advice doesn’t have to be implemented.

I’m a firm believer that mentoring, (discipleship in the church setting), happens through relationships. Trying to force something will only cause frustration on everyone’s part.

So...did anyone mentor you? Are you mentoring someone? Is there an opportunity for you to be a part of this process?