The Window of Opportunity

When you look out a window, what do you see? Obviously that depends on what is out there, right? Can you see beyond that? Not just what is out there but even more so, what could be out there? 

I would say I am a optimistic realist. I see the glass not as half full or half empty but for what it really is and the possibility of what it can become. At least that is what I want. That's not easy, especially if, like me, you have seen plenty of failures,  but...

To live like Jesus, you have to live with possibility.

This is the faith factor of living: You see the possibilities in life because you have faith. The scripture reads, “Everything is possible for one who believes” (NIV).

I believe that we should be the most innovative and creative people on the planet because all things are possible. When you have faith, it expands your horizon. You can be much more creative and innovative.

When you have unbelief, it limits your life and even the lives of others to some degree.

The more you trust God, build relationships and trust with people in your life, the more limitless your possibilities become for your family, your career and for your life!

Don't be afraid to dream big dreams and pursue those dreams with passion. Everyday there are new windows of opportunity. Can you see them?

Things to ponder,

In what area or areas of our lives are we limited by our unbelief?
What needs changing in our lives?   
 What are we waiting for?

How To Enjoy The Moment

I remember a friend of mine kept a sign on his desk that helped him maintain the right perspective concerning yesterday. It simply said, "Yesterday Ended Last Night." It reminded him that no matter how badly he might have failed in the past, it's done, and today is a new day.

It’s easy it is to be bogged down by the regrets of yesterday, and to be immobilized by the uncertainties of tomorrow, as we go through the day alternating between "Why did that have to happen yesterday?" and "What if I can't handle what happens tomorrow?"

Let me suggest that neither your regrets or your fears have anything to do with what really matters: the remaining hours of this day. Each day has enough trouble of its own, Jesus said. No point in worrying about tomorrow when today's plate is already full -- with trouble, yes, and opportunity, too. And so much potential.

I want to encourage you to decide today that you will give no weight to what's already gone, that you will spend no emotional energy on what is yet to arrive. Instead, invest everything you have today in today. It makes this day a whole better, and tomorrow a whole lot brighter.

The key to success is in doing things in order of their importance. Each day my challenge is to determine the 5 most important tasks and do them one by one. I'm not always successful but tomorrow's a new day.

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are You A Pleaser?

Are You A Pleaser?

“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you” (Proverbs 29:25 GN)

When we worry about what other people think, we let them control us. We waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want us to be. Then, we waste a lot of time and energy trying to become like that rather than just being who were are.. You're manipulated and controlled by somebody else.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because we’re more likely to cave in to criticism. It means we don't always do the right thing; instead, we do the thing that everybody wants us to do.

And we’re in danger of missing God's best because we're so worried about what other people what us to do that we can't stop to think about what we should be doing.

3 Facts Related To Trying To Please People

1. You cannot please everybody. Even God can't please everybody. One person prays for it to rain; another prays for it to be sunny. In the Super Bowl, both teams are praying that they will win. Who is God going to answer? God can't please everybody. You can't please everybody.

2. It's not necessary to please everybody. There is a myth that says you must be loved and approved by everybody in order to be happy. That's just not true. You don't have to please everybody in order to be happy in life.

3. Rejection will not ruin your life. It hurts, sure. It's not fun. It's uncomfortable. But rejection will not ruin your life unless you let it.

Quit trying to please everybody! Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.

Remember, nothing you ever do will make God love you less. Nothing you ever do will make God love you more. He loves you completely right now.

So...are you trying to please someone?

Why We Don't Play Nice

Unless you’ve been living in the mountains of Nepal, you’ve probably noticed the political campaigns have a major bent toward the negative. I’ve noticed the same with people on social media.

Why can’t we just play nice? Shouldn’t we have honest, substantive debates about the issues? Shouldn’t we listen to, respect, and value opposing ideas? Shouldn’t we politely disagree without ripping the opposing side’s heart out of its chest like the crazed bad guy from the Temple of Doom?

We can’t play nice because political parties, ideologies, issues, and leaders are more than parties, ideologies, issues, and leaders – they’re gods and saviors. We assign them ultimate worth and value. We believe if our god –party, ideology, or leader – was reigning over the country we would live in paradise. Our politician, political philosophy, issue, or party will rescue us from our hell and deliver us to our heaven. The political podium is a pulpit where politicians and activists preach the glories of their various gods and saviors and warn of the dangers of the other side, all while faithful worshipers sing the praises. # FAIL!!!

Okay, i’m stepping off my soap-box. So here are a some reminders that may encourage us to get back to reality.

1. That picture with the politically-charged caption that you’re sharing on Facebook isn’t going to change hearts and minds.
2. Canada has universal healthcare, and it’s cold...and it’s tired of you threatening to move there if your candidate loses.
3. It's possible to be a Democrat and a Christian at the same time.
4. Sending death threats to Fox News won’t change their programing.
5. Hitler is not running.
6. No, repealing the Bush-era tax cuts is not the same as invading Poland.
7. You’re wrong if you think Dale Gribble is the smart one on King of the Hill.
8. If you can tell when David Gergen is having a bad hair day, it's time to turn off CNN.
9. Being a Christian has a lot more to do with how you live every day than how you vote every four years.
10. Don't believe the people who tell you to fear. They are trying to control you.

What would you add? Be nice.

Do You Have That Gut Feeling?

I've discovered  if people are not on my heart, they're on my nerves.  If you don't have your kids in your heart, they get on your nerves.  If you don't have your wife in your heart, she gets on your nerves.

The reason so many relationships are crumbling is that folks are reacting to each other from their mind rather than their heart. When your wife says, "I feel depressed" listen to her; it's legitimate.  When your husband says, "I don't feel this is the right thing we ought to do." Consider what he has to say.

Heart love begins with understanding why someone feels the way they do. Ask questions and then listen. Hear the hurt, look for the problems. We need to understand the moods of the people closest to us, why they act the way they do.  If you care, you'll be aware. I’m not saying this is easy. 
Relationships can be difficult at times, I blow it all the time but I keep trying.

How do you love people who, even when you do understand them, you find them unlovable?

"God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:8 NIV) 

In Greek, (the language I struggled with so much in college), the word "affection" is the word for intestines.
In Greek society, the Greeks thought that the seat of the emotions was in your stomach, your liver, your internal organs.

So Paul was saying, "I've got a gut feeling of love for you." That is not a natural kind of love.  It is a supernatural kind of love and that's why Paul said it's not from himself, but it's the affection of Christ.  Human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine. The only kind of love that lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God's love.

So how do you get this kind of gut love? God's love is not something you work up.  It is something that is poured into you by the Spirit as you let Him live in you day-by-day.

Do you have a gut feeling about someone?

Dare To Be Different

I have noticed a lot of people are fired up on both sides of the political spectrum as we head towards the November elections. I see people tearing down each other’s candidates and unfortunately, the people supporting them. In the midst of this ugliness I want to encourage you to be different, become a people-builder.

The key to building up people is kindness -- giving them what they need and not what they deserve.  

When you consider the way Jesus built up people, He did three things: challenged, encouraged, and spoke honestly.
Jesus challenged people to be all God made them to be. God doesn’t want you to waste your life!

Challenge your family and friends to live beyond themselves and to discover their strengths and abilities. God has given each of us some special abilities, and he wants us to use them to help each other. We’re to pass on to others God's many kinds of blessings.

You can play a critical role in this way by helping the ones you love to discover their strengths and abilities, and then challenging them to use them. By the way, a critical attitude is not a gift!

Help someone understand how special their gifts are – that we will all miss out on a blessing if they don’t use the gifts given them. It’s like a singer who never sings; we miss out on the blessing that would come from hearing the voice. We are meant to be a blessing to others.

We should consider the good of our neighbor and build up his character. Romans 15:2

Instead of tearing down someone today, consider how you can build them up.

It's A Risky Business

Many times, the one thing that keeps us from helping others is our own fear. Fear makes us unkind. The cruelest people are the most fearful people. Just imagine the fears the Good Samaritan could have had — they were all legitimate.

“Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’” (Luke 10:34-35 NLT)

There is a risk involved. He could have said, “What if I go over and help this guy, and it’s a trap? He jumps up, beats me up, and takes all my possessions and leaves me by the side of the road?” or “What if he rejects my help?” (Jews and Samaritans were divided by race, religion, and politics) or “What if I get blamed for it?”

Today we might say, “What if he sues me?” or “What if I don’t know what to do?” or “What if I don’t know what to say?”

There’s one big fear I don’t like to talk about. I often don’t want to get involved in other people’s pain and brokenness because it reminds me of our my own pain and brokenness. Some of us have the pain in our lives pushed down, and we want to keep a lid on it. But keeping a lid on it will only lead to more pain. Step out of your comfort zone and take a risk today.

What are the things you fear that may be keeping you from loving other people? How did those fears start?

To love your neighbor as yourself, you must be willing to take risks. Will you take that risk today?

The Cure For Discouragement

Not so long ago I was really discouraged and it lasted over two years!  But now I know discouragement is curable.
I have found there were four reasons why I get discouragement.

1. I get fatigued -- We're human beings and we wear out. You cannot burn the candle at both ends. So if you're discouraged, it may be you don't have to change anything. You just need a vacation! Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.

2.  I get frustrated -- Have you noticed that anytime you start doing something new, the trash starts piling up?
If you don't clean it out periodically, it's going to stop your progress. You can't avoid it, so you need to learn to recognize it and dispose of it quickly so you don't lose focus on your original intention.
What is the rubble in your life? I think rubble is the trivial things that waste your time and energy and prevent you from accomplishing what God has called you to do.

3. I think I've failed --  Goals are a good thing but sometimes if you are unable to finish the task as quickly as originally planned, confidence collapses. Then you think, “why did I even try this?’’
But you know what I do now when I don't reach a goal on time? I just set a new goal. I don't give up. Everybody fails. Everybody does foolish things. So the issue is not that you failed - it's how you respond to your failure.
Do you give in to self-pity? Do you start blaming other people? Do you start complaining that it's impossible? Or, do you refocus and start moving again?

4. If I give in to fear -- Studies suggest the people most affected by fear are those who hang around negative people. If you're going to control the negative thoughts in your life, you've got to get away from negative people as much as you can.

Maybe you're discouraged because of fear. You're dealing with fears like, "I can't handle this. It's too much responsibility." Maybe it's the fear that you don't deserve it. It's the fear of criticism. Fear will destroy your life if you let it. But you can choose to resist the discouragement. Say, "God help me get my eyes off the problem - off the circumstance - and keep my eyes on you."

Are there other reasons why you get discouraged? Discouragement can be cured!

An Inside Job

True happiness and success is very difficult to attract if you don’t know what you want from life. I specifically used the word “attract” because happiness and success are not things that you pursue, they are things that you attract into your life by becoming a specific kind of person. A person who walks in contentment.

If you have become the person that attracts happiness, you’ll be able to be content, no matter where in the world you are because your happiness is not dependent on your current situation.
If you have become the person that attracts success, you’ll be able to be content with all your endeavours. Your success is not entirely dependent on your current business or idea.

The problem seems to be that the majority of us feel lost, confused and are without a sense of purpose. We have no direction in our lives and seem to be floating about aimlessly. Going from relationship to relationship, job to job, day to day, seeking happiness in material possessions.

If you (or someone you know) are unhappy with life, could it be because you don’t have a direction or sense of purpose in life? Every single action you take and every bit of energy you spend should be contributing towards achieving your goals in life.

The kind of goals I’m referring to don’t have to be material gain or even some sort of measurable achievement. A goal can be something as simple as living a life full of love and happiness with friends and family. A goal is something that makes your life worth living.

Happiness is not something you pursue. It’s something you attract. You attract happiness by stopping to look for it in people, or situations. By caring for others. Once you learn to be content simply by being alive, by breathing, by being you, and by being thankful for what you’ve got…that’s when happiness will start coming to you in other areas of your life too.

I’m reminded of a passage in the Bible where Paul says...

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12) Paul had a connection with God and thus direction that led to his contentment.

There’s no denying that you can experience fantastic happiness in relationships, your passions and your successes. However, if you base your contentment on these things it will be one big roller-coaster of ups and downs. If you’re able to achieve contentment from within yourself, based purely on the fact that you’re alive, then external sources can amplify your happiness but never truly take it away.

True Happiness is an inside job.

Don't Condemn Culture

I decided over thirty years ago I wanted to have a ministry like Jesus. Which means, I don’t spend any of my time condemning culture.  Why?  Because Jesus didn’t.  He said “I didn’t come to condemn the world; I came to save it.”

Many Christians spend a lot of their time condemning the world, saying how badly society sucks, then looking for a political solution to figure out how to get rid of the suckiness.  Neither of those work.  Spending all your time condemning society won’t change it, and looking for a political answer to solve the problem of society won’t change it either.  

God so loved the world he didn’t send a politician.  Why?  Because you can’t change people’s hearts by laws.  No law will turn a bigot into somebody who will love all the races.  Only God can get rid of racism in the heart.  Only God can get rid of selfishness in the heart.  No law is going to turn people who are selfish into unselfish people.  Jesus said, “I didn’t come to condemn the world.  I came to save it.”  So no matter what I’ve done, God wants me.  
 
Remember the story of the prodigal son, the kid who tells his father, “dad give me my half of the inheritance” and he splits and goes to sunset strip in Jerusalem and spends all his money on wine, women, and song – mostly women?  He ends up feeding pigs in a pigsty.  He finally realizes this doesn’t work so he goes home to his dad with a humble attitude, smelling of the pigsty.  The father runs out to greet his younger son.  He grabs him in a big bear hug, My son has come home!  Let’s have a party.  

He doesn’t say to his son, “Son, go and get a bath.  Get shaved.  Put on some clean clothes.  Get rid of that stinking pig smell and then I’ll give you a bear hug.”  No, he says I love you just the way you are.

God loves and accepts you just the way you are.  

Are You Keeping It Real?

Imagine if I walked in the door one evening and my son said: “O, almighty procreator of our family. How wonderful thou art, who sovereignly deposits our allowance to us. Oh, the majesty of thy wonderful self! We beseech thee to come eat dinner with us.” I’d check his temperatures to see if he was sick or on something! I don’t want to hear that. I want him to say, “Hey! Dad's home. I missed you, dad!”

God wants us to be real by being authentic when we speak.

Years ago I copied the prayers of other people. I noticed they used certain words and even a special tone of voice. I imitated all the religious clichés: “Lead, guide, and direct us, O Lord.” “Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies.” “Bless the gift and the giver.”

In New Testament times, prayers were wordy, meaningless rituals. There was no spontaneity, no genuineness. But Jesus says don’t get caught up in ritual prayer. You don’t have to use fancy language. You can’t impress God with fancy language, and you shouldn’t be trying to impress other people, either.

I love to hear new believers pray; there’s no pious pomposity. They haven’t learned the clichés yet. They just say, “Hi, God. It’s me.” That’s how you make contact with God. You just talk with your heavenly Father about what’s on your mind. Just pray your heart. Reveal yourself.

I’m not saying to be flippant in prayer, just talk with him in a genuine and heartfelt way.

“When you pray, do not use a lot of meaningless words, as the pagans do, who think that their gods will hear them because their prayers are long. Do not be like them. Your Father already knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:7-8 TEV).

Do you find yourself being “religious” when you talk to God? Try being as real as you can when you pray, even if you’re angry at God. Be honest.

Courage

Life takes courage...

A few years ago my son, Graydon, won an award at his school for most improved student. He was presented a plaque and a little medal for his accomplishments. Shortly afterwards he asked me if I had ever received an award for anything. No, I replied, not that I could ever recall in my entire life. Here, you can have this, as he handed me his little medal. I told him no but he insisted. I was grateful for his act of kindness but to be honest, it didn’t have much impact on me at the time.

It was only a couple of years later when I was in a dark time in my life that I came across that little metal in my bedroom nightstand. I was losing my courage to deal with life. Things were not going as planned.  That award, Graydon passed on to me, represented his love and confidence in me as his father. 



Life takes courage. At times when we expect it, like when we lose someone we love, or when we make the critical decision to change careers or relationships. And life takes courage, still, in those moments that, although smaller, define who we are. When we stand up for injustice, or finally find our voice after what seemed like years of searching for it. We feel victorious because we're no longer rendered silent.

But maybe, unlike me, courage isn't what you need right now. Maybe you need love, or joy, or hope, or laughter. Or maybe you just need a little medal to remind yourself every day just how beautiful you are. Nevermind those folks who will say that's vain. Just tell them it's part of your therapy and hand them a medal.

What Are You Committed To?

1998

Father’s Day is almost here. It got me thinking about this important question: 

What are the things that my child sees that I’m dedicated to?  

What we are committed to in life is very important. You will not be able to lead your children any farther spiritually than you are yourself. 

What do your kids see that you are committed to?

 Do they have lasting value? 

Here are a few suggestions.

• Commit yourself to knowing and loving God.

• Commit yourself to learning to love other people.

• Commit yourself to growing in character.

• Commit yourself to serving other people unselfishly.

My hope is that my son sees some evidence of the above in my life. I don’t want my son to be pressure driven, guilt driven, worry driven, resentment driven, crowd driven, peer driven, or dare I say it -- church driven?  I want him to be free to love God and other people. 

You and I are not going to be with our children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn’t going to last forever, but it’s never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. Lead by loving. Love your children and the people around you. 

How Open Minded Are You?

If you shut yourself off from learning something new because you have a biased view of something old, you will never be able to expand your understanding. 


This includes the way you read the Bible. But when looking at Bible scriptures, sometimes you will encounter passages that seem to contradict something else you learned or understood. What seem to be contradictions or hard places can be opportunities for you to gain a greater understanding of what the whole of the Bible is saying.

Usually, when something you read seems to contradict another passage of scripture, it is because your knowledge of the whole of the scriptures is limited, and therefore so is your view. Think of it this way: It would be difficult to write a report on the cultures of the world if all you know is what you have seen in U.S. You may have some insight into other cultures, but it would take an intense study of other cultures, preferably in foreign countries, to get the most accurate report. If you are only familiar with certain portions and concepts of the Bible, your understanding of how it all fits together will be limited. This is why you have to have an open mind when studying - you may find that there are some huge pieces missing to the puzzle as you currently know it.

Another problem with contradictions are because the original languages of the Bible are Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. If one wishes to be a careful student of the Scriptures, some research concerning the biblical languages is important. Sometimes our English translations may not be accurate when it comes to certain words.

A treasured study tool for Bible research is the Strong's Concordance. It has a topical index, Hebrew and Greek Lexicons, and you can even search for Bible verses by the individual words in them. Find every Bible verse containing the word "compassion" or any other word, just like searching a dictionary! You might be surprised at what you find when you look at a literal translation. Young’s Literal Translation is also available online too.

So...the next time you read a Bible verse, especially a controversial one, take some extra time and do a little research. If you have an open mind, you might gain a greater understanding.


Have you ever changed your mind about something you read in the Bible ?

I Just Wanted To Die

About four years ago I was really stressed out and felt like I wanted to just die! Yesterday I read former NFL star Junior Seau was found shot to death at his home Wednesday morning in what police said appeared to be a suicide. He was only 43.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to die? Are you thinking about suicide right now?

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Five things to think about.

First: You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

Second: Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it.

Third: People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

Fourth: Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help.

Fifth: Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Resources For Help:
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine  1-800-999-9999
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line.
Call a psychotherapist.
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen.
Send an anonymous email to this blog.

Don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

I Have Trust Issues, Do You?

Phil shares about trust issues with God on video, click here if you cannot see the video.