Are You A Pleaser?

Are You A Pleaser?

“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you” (Proverbs 29:25 GN)

When we worry about what other people think, we let them control us. We waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want us to be. Then, we waste a lot of time and energy trying to become like that rather than just being who were are.. You're manipulated and controlled by somebody else.

Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because we’re more likely to cave in to criticism. It means we don't always do the right thing; instead, we do the thing that everybody wants us to do.

And we’re in danger of missing God's best because we're so worried about what other people what us to do that we can't stop to think about what we should be doing.

3 Facts Related To Trying To Please People

1. You cannot please everybody. Even God can't please everybody. One person prays for it to rain; another prays for it to be sunny. In the Super Bowl, both teams are praying that they will win. Who is God going to answer? God can't please everybody. You can't please everybody.

2. It's not necessary to please everybody. There is a myth that says you must be loved and approved by everybody in order to be happy. That's just not true. You don't have to please everybody in order to be happy in life.

3. Rejection will not ruin your life. It hurts, sure. It's not fun. It's uncomfortable. But rejection will not ruin your life unless you let it.

Quit trying to please everybody! Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.

Remember, nothing you ever do will make God love you less. Nothing you ever do will make God love you more. He loves you completely right now.

So...are you trying to please someone?

Why We Don't Play Nice

Unless you’ve been living in the mountains of Nepal, you’ve probably noticed the political campaigns have a major bent toward the negative. I’ve noticed the same with people on social media.

Why can’t we just play nice? Shouldn’t we have honest, substantive debates about the issues? Shouldn’t we listen to, respect, and value opposing ideas? Shouldn’t we politely disagree without ripping the opposing side’s heart out of its chest like the crazed bad guy from the Temple of Doom?

We can’t play nice because political parties, ideologies, issues, and leaders are more than parties, ideologies, issues, and leaders – they’re gods and saviors. We assign them ultimate worth and value. We believe if our god –party, ideology, or leader – was reigning over the country we would live in paradise. Our politician, political philosophy, issue, or party will rescue us from our hell and deliver us to our heaven. The political podium is a pulpit where politicians and activists preach the glories of their various gods and saviors and warn of the dangers of the other side, all while faithful worshipers sing the praises. # FAIL!!!

Okay, i’m stepping off my soap-box. So here are a some reminders that may encourage us to get back to reality.

1. That picture with the politically-charged caption that you’re sharing on Facebook isn’t going to change hearts and minds.
2. Canada has universal healthcare, and it’s cold...and it’s tired of you threatening to move there if your candidate loses.
3. It's possible to be a Democrat and a Christian at the same time.
4. Sending death threats to Fox News won’t change their programing.
5. Hitler is not running.
6. No, repealing the Bush-era tax cuts is not the same as invading Poland.
7. You’re wrong if you think Dale Gribble is the smart one on King of the Hill.
8. If you can tell when David Gergen is having a bad hair day, it's time to turn off CNN.
9. Being a Christian has a lot more to do with how you live every day than how you vote every four years.
10. Don't believe the people who tell you to fear. They are trying to control you.

What would you add? Be nice.

It's A Risky Business

Many times, the one thing that keeps us from helping others is our own fear. Fear makes us unkind. The cruelest people are the most fearful people. Just imagine the fears the Good Samaritan could have had — they were all legitimate.

“Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’” (Luke 10:34-35 NLT)

There is a risk involved. He could have said, “What if I go over and help this guy, and it’s a trap? He jumps up, beats me up, and takes all my possessions and leaves me by the side of the road?” or “What if he rejects my help?” (Jews and Samaritans were divided by race, religion, and politics) or “What if I get blamed for it?”

Today we might say, “What if he sues me?” or “What if I don’t know what to do?” or “What if I don’t know what to say?”

There’s one big fear I don’t like to talk about. I often don’t want to get involved in other people’s pain and brokenness because it reminds me of our my own pain and brokenness. Some of us have the pain in our lives pushed down, and we want to keep a lid on it. But keeping a lid on it will only lead to more pain. Step out of your comfort zone and take a risk today.

What are the things you fear that may be keeping you from loving other people? How did those fears start?

To love your neighbor as yourself, you must be willing to take risks. Will you take that risk today?

The Cure For Discouragement

Not so long ago I was really discouraged and it lasted over two years!  But now I know discouragement is curable.
I have found there were four reasons why I get discouragement.

1. I get fatigued -- We're human beings and we wear out. You cannot burn the candle at both ends. So if you're discouraged, it may be you don't have to change anything. You just need a vacation! Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.

2.  I get frustrated -- Have you noticed that anytime you start doing something new, the trash starts piling up?
If you don't clean it out periodically, it's going to stop your progress. You can't avoid it, so you need to learn to recognize it and dispose of it quickly so you don't lose focus on your original intention.
What is the rubble in your life? I think rubble is the trivial things that waste your time and energy and prevent you from accomplishing what God has called you to do.

3. I think I've failed --  Goals are a good thing but sometimes if you are unable to finish the task as quickly as originally planned, confidence collapses. Then you think, “why did I even try this?’’
But you know what I do now when I don't reach a goal on time? I just set a new goal. I don't give up. Everybody fails. Everybody does foolish things. So the issue is not that you failed - it's how you respond to your failure.
Do you give in to self-pity? Do you start blaming other people? Do you start complaining that it's impossible? Or, do you refocus and start moving again?

4. If I give in to fear -- Studies suggest the people most affected by fear are those who hang around negative people. If you're going to control the negative thoughts in your life, you've got to get away from negative people as much as you can.

Maybe you're discouraged because of fear. You're dealing with fears like, "I can't handle this. It's too much responsibility." Maybe it's the fear that you don't deserve it. It's the fear of criticism. Fear will destroy your life if you let it. But you can choose to resist the discouragement. Say, "God help me get my eyes off the problem - off the circumstance - and keep my eyes on you."

Are there other reasons why you get discouraged? Discouragement can be cured!