Contending With Contentment

After I moved out of the house, I would come back and visit my father over the Holidays. He would always ask me, “Son, are you happy?”  Deep down I think he was really asking me if I was content. 

Happiness is something that comes and goes. It is about excitement, fun, moments, actions, and material things. Contentment is something that lasts. It's about going with the flow, enjoying the satisfaction of work, and appreciating nature and life.

I was pretty content when I was young but over the years I have found myself struggling a bit.

Life can sometimes beat us down, especially if we are in a season of having to deal with hardships. We can easily get focused on the negatives.

Here are some tips to finding contentment, even if you are in the middle of a mess.

Be who you are

You can only be content if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

Forget the past

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

Take responsibility for your life

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People will annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent. But, you and I shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and we have the power to choose.

Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Relationships are where we can get true contentment in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

Develop multiple passions

Passions lead you to contentment. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

Count your blessings

Contentment will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be content.

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. - Philippians 4:11

Can you add something to this list? I’d love to hear from you.

Being Grateful

Studies have shown that happy people are grateful people. How often do you pause to appreciate what you have in life? When I was young, I took things and people for granted. After all, I was young and I didn't know what life could be like on the other side.

As I became a teen I was faced with the loss of several good friends due to car and motorcycle accidents. Later my mother passed away from cancer. I vowed to never take people for granted again. But as time rolled on I would get caught up with the busyness of life and again, take people for granted.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel bad because you're going through a tough time in life. However, remember no matter how bad your situation may seem, there are tens of thousands of things to be grateful for in life.

So how can you actually practice gratitude on a regular basis? Here are a few tips that have helped me.

Relax. It's hard to cultivate a sense of gratitude when you're angry, frustrated, or anxious. If these are issues that you struggle with, it's important to resolve them, as they're formidable barriers to thankfulness. For me, I have to put myself in a place away from all the activities and practice putting my mind on other things that lead to peace.

Live in the Moment. If you're too busy dwelling on the past or thinking about the future, you won't be able to fully notice how fantastic things are right now. Plus, thinking about the past and future opens the door to comparison, which is the only way you can perceive something as not good enough. What you have now is all that exists, and comparing that to something that doesn't exist anymore (or yet) is an easy way to foster dissatisfaction and torture yourself. Like the old saying goes "Past is History, Future is a Mystery and Today is Gift and hence it is called the Present". Enjoy today, this moment and don't postpone your enjoyment.

Cherish any kind of lightheartedness in your life. Things like laughter, affection, and playfulness are fleeting. Once a relationship has degraded so that those things don't spontaneously occur anymore, it's very hard to get them back. You might know that from experience. So treat those moments with care (especially with kids, who are at the peak of lightheartedness). Don't be the person who takes life too seriously, who doesn't have time to have fun, or who has no sense of humor. Again, that does not come easy for me but I have to practice this with purpose.

Can you think of some things or people you are grateful for? I'd love to hear from you.
Take some time each day to shift your focus, you'll be a happier person because of it.