A Change Would Do You Good.

How do I know when i’m out of God’s will? How do I know if all the things i’m doing are what God expects me to do or if i’ve just put those expectations on myself? Most of us are doing too much right now. Our schedules are too busy. We have so many irons in the fire that the fire is about to be put out. We’re smothering it.

The answer is simple: If  i’m always tired. It is not God’s will in  life to always be tired. God never intended for us to go around with that heavy a load all the time.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest” (TEV).

What's got you burdened? Most of us carry a yoke of burden that we’ve put on ourselves because of unresolved guilt and unrealistic expectations. We’re trying to prove that we matter.

You matter to God period! You don’t have to do anything to matter to God.

So....What do you need to change? Change may not be easy to do but it is necessary. It may require some sacrifice. You may be misunderstood. But...you will have a sense of relief when you make the change.

What's got you burdened? How should you deal with it?

Don't Condemn Culture

I decided over thirty years ago I wanted to have a ministry like Jesus. Which means, I don’t spend any of my time condemning culture.  Why?  Because Jesus didn’t.  He said “I didn’t come to condemn the world; I came to save it.”

Many Christians spend a lot of their time condemning the world, saying how badly society sucks, then looking for a political solution to figure out how to get rid of the suckiness.  Neither of those work.  Spending all your time condemning society won’t change it, and looking for a political answer to solve the problem of society won’t change it either.  

God so loved the world he didn’t send a politician.  Why?  Because you can’t change people’s hearts by laws.  No law will turn a bigot into somebody who will love all the races.  Only God can get rid of racism in the heart.  Only God can get rid of selfishness in the heart.  No law is going to turn people who are selfish into unselfish people.  Jesus said, “I didn’t come to condemn the world.  I came to save it.”  So no matter what I’ve done, God wants me.  
 
Remember the story of the prodigal son, the kid who tells his father, “dad give me my half of the inheritance” and he splits and goes to sunset strip in Jerusalem and spends all his money on wine, women, and song – mostly women?  He ends up feeding pigs in a pigsty.  He finally realizes this doesn’t work so he goes home to his dad with a humble attitude, smelling of the pigsty.  The father runs out to greet his younger son.  He grabs him in a big bear hug, My son has come home!  Let’s have a party.  

He doesn’t say to his son, “Son, go and get a bath.  Get shaved.  Put on some clean clothes.  Get rid of that stinking pig smell and then I’ll give you a bear hug.”  No, he says I love you just the way you are.

God loves and accepts you just the way you are.  

Are You Keeping It Real?

Imagine if I walked in the door one evening and my son said: “O, almighty procreator of our family. How wonderful thou art, who sovereignly deposits our allowance to us. Oh, the majesty of thy wonderful self! We beseech thee to come eat dinner with us.” I’d check his temperatures to see if he was sick or on something! I don’t want to hear that. I want him to say, “Hey! Dad's home. I missed you, dad!”

God wants us to be real by being authentic when we speak.

Years ago I copied the prayers of other people. I noticed they used certain words and even a special tone of voice. I imitated all the religious clichés: “Lead, guide, and direct us, O Lord.” “Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies.” “Bless the gift and the giver.”

In New Testament times, prayers were wordy, meaningless rituals. There was no spontaneity, no genuineness. But Jesus says don’t get caught up in ritual prayer. You don’t have to use fancy language. You can’t impress God with fancy language, and you shouldn’t be trying to impress other people, either.

I love to hear new believers pray; there’s no pious pomposity. They haven’t learned the clichés yet. They just say, “Hi, God. It’s me.” That’s how you make contact with God. You just talk with your heavenly Father about what’s on your mind. Just pray your heart. Reveal yourself.

I’m not saying to be flippant in prayer, just talk with him in a genuine and heartfelt way.

“When you pray, do not use a lot of meaningless words, as the pagans do, who think that their gods will hear them because their prayers are long. Do not be like them. Your Father already knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:7-8 TEV).

Do you find yourself being “religious” when you talk to God? Try being as real as you can when you pray, even if you’re angry at God. Be honest.

What REALLY is Important?

It was 20 years ago this week that one of my best friends decided to take a little vacation he and his family planned over the 4th of July Holiday. I was invited to tag along but I decided to work, even though I could have taken the time off. There will be other times to get together, I reasoned in my mind. The “other times” never came. He drowned in the lake they were camping by. I never thought my brief conversation with him the day before would be my last. His tragic death shook me up for years to come. I decided to make a change in my life priorities.

What are your priorities? Perhaps you have even forgotten about them- not intentionally of course. Life gets busy. Bills need to get paid. We are hit with an onslaught of distractions on a daily basis. But at the end of your life, with what do you hope to feel complete?

One of the things I don’t want is to be lost in a sea of regrets: “I wish I could have” or “I should have done this” or “What was I thinking?” It is so easy to lose sight of our true priorities. We can disconnect from those things we once considered our greatest blessings. I constantly have to re-evaluate my life in order to stay on course.

Life does happen. But make sure an autopilot life doesn’t cloud your perspective on what really matters to you. Take some time to get clarity on what it is you really want. Chisel through all the “surface” answers and get to the deep inner chambers of your heart. 

What REALLY is important to you?

This may very well be one of the most important questions you can ever ask.

Courage

Life takes courage...

A few years ago my son, Graydon, won an award at his school for most improved student. He was presented a plaque and a little medal for his accomplishments. Shortly afterwards he asked me if I had ever received an award for anything. No, I replied, not that I could ever recall in my entire life. Here, you can have this, as he handed me his little medal. I told him no but he insisted. I was grateful for his act of kindness but to be honest, it didn’t have much impact on me at the time.

It was only a couple of years later when I was in a dark time in my life that I came across that little metal in my bedroom nightstand. I was losing my courage to deal with life. Things were not going as planned.  That award, Graydon passed on to me, represented his love and confidence in me as his father. 



Life takes courage. At times when we expect it, like when we lose someone we love, or when we make the critical decision to change careers or relationships. And life takes courage, still, in those moments that, although smaller, define who we are. When we stand up for injustice, or finally find our voice after what seemed like years of searching for it. We feel victorious because we're no longer rendered silent.

But maybe, unlike me, courage isn't what you need right now. Maybe you need love, or joy, or hope, or laughter. Or maybe you just need a little medal to remind yourself every day just how beautiful you are. Nevermind those folks who will say that's vain. Just tell them it's part of your therapy and hand them a medal.

Join The Counter-Culture!

Okay, maybe not that kind of counter-culture. I have something a little different in mind.


When I think about counter-cultural stuff, I think about what Jesus was doing when he walked the earth. Jesus was not only counter-cultural—He was transcultural calling us to transform our culture rather than blending into it. How do we transform our culture? I think it begins with you and I on a personal level first.


As we struggle with our hurts, habits, and hang-ups, it is important to remember we are a work in progress. God doesn't expect you to be perfect; he knows you will make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself.


Spiritual maturity is neither instantaneous nor automatic; it is a gradual, progressive development that will take the rest of your life as God helps us make healing choices. 


A simple truth to remember is that God is far more interested in building our character than he is anything else.  In other words, God is interested in who you are. For instance, he’s much more concerned about your character than your career, because you will take your character into eternity, but not your career. Our character is developed by walking in love. 


Real love is counter-cultural. 


The scripture says, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out…Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you” (Romans 12:2 MSG).


You and I must make personal choices that are counter-cultural. These kinds of healing choices will protect us from other forces trying to mold us into their image. Instead of choices based on selfishness we need to choose based on love. 


What decision in the near future do you need to make? 
Will you make that decision from a motive of love?

What Are You Committed To?

1998

Father’s Day is almost here. It got me thinking about this important question: 

What are the things that my child sees that I’m dedicated to?  

What we are committed to in life is very important. You will not be able to lead your children any farther spiritually than you are yourself. 

What do your kids see that you are committed to?

 Do they have lasting value? 

Here are a few suggestions.

• Commit yourself to knowing and loving God.

• Commit yourself to learning to love other people.

• Commit yourself to growing in character.

• Commit yourself to serving other people unselfishly.

My hope is that my son sees some evidence of the above in my life. I don’t want my son to be pressure driven, guilt driven, worry driven, resentment driven, crowd driven, peer driven, or dare I say it -- church driven?  I want him to be free to love God and other people. 

You and I are not going to be with our children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn’t going to last forever, but it’s never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. Lead by loving. Love your children and the people around you. 

Does It Matter?

As I look around I can’t help but wonder if relationships and their worth are doomed. Do relationships really matter anymore? We say they do, but I don’t believe that’s true. At least for a lot of people. We seem to be busy doing things, but do the things we do really matter?

When i was experiencing a very difficult season in my life about 4 years ago, the help and encouragement I got did not come from the organized church I was a part of but a few relationships I had maintained over the last 20 years or so. I am so grateful that I had stayed connected to those people. Real relationships are truly the fabric that binds us to one another. Without meaningful relationships, life isn’t living and if you aren’t living you’re dying.

Maintaining and enhancing the quality of our relationships is the most important thing ever. In these times of financial up evil, our relationships should be a place where we should have solace. Banks folding, the stock market on what seems to be a never-ending yo-yo and skyrocketing unemployment, relationships seem to be one of the last bastions of individual freedom and control.

I know this sounds a bit “gloomy” and “dark” but too much attention is focused on items, situations and people that really don’t matter. Our attention has been diverted. We have been “flim-flamed” into believing that possessions of “stuff” will bring us what it is that we seek. I too engage in the “buying” of stuff. We all do but in the end it’s the interpersonal relationships in our lives that bring us fulfilment.

I’d encourage you today to look at your relationships. Without having the gumption and insight to affect change within your personal relationships, you will be a “relationship drifter”. You will continue to bounce from person to person never reaching a sense of emotional satiation or comfort. You are doomed to repeat the same patterns that have driven wedges between you and those that you wanted to love but didn’t know how to connect with.

Let’s face it, when it’s all said and done, nothing will matter more than the value and depth of the relationships that you created. Do relationships really matter? They should to all of us!

What changes should you make in your life order to build healthier relationships?

How Spiritual Are You?

I talk with many people who have a desire to be more spiritual and i think that’s a great thing but how does one go about that? The most spiritual people i know are those who serve others with love.

Loving servants pay attention to needs. Servants are always on the lookout for ways to help others. When they see a need, they seize the moment to meet it, just as scripture encourages us to do.

When God puts someone in need right in front of you, he is giving you the opportunity to grow spiritually. I think a theme that runs all throughout the scriptures is loving others. Loving others includes helping others and that should not be put at the bottom of our “things to do” list. It rise to the top!

We miss many occasions for helping others because we lack sensitivity and spontaneity. Great opportunities to serve never last long. They pass quickly, sometimes never to return again. You may only get one chance to serve that person, so take advantage of the moment.

John Wesley’s motto was: “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.”

That is greatness. That is a large part of spirituality. You can begin by looking for small tasks that no one else wants to do. Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching.

“Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now” (Proverbs 3:28 TEV).


How spiritual are you? What way to measure that might be to how much you help others.

Related articles

• John Wesley - a Hymn and (interesting) Directions on How To Sing

  ---

Old McDonald Had a Farm -- HAD

The picture over on the left reminds me of several good friends of mine who left Tucson, AZ and purchased a farm in the south. They were leaving the desert to become farmers, live off the land and live in Christian Community together. The change did not go very well. They didn’t have a clue what they were doing when it came to farming or living together! They wanted to have a deeper, more spiritual life but because of no understanding on how to do that they failed miserably. They HAD a farm but no longer.

Why do so many of us feel like we just have not grown spiritually very much? Are we just spiritually "thick-headed?" Are we just not "built" to be spiritual? Or have we simply not been taught what it means to be a student of Jesus?

Perhaps the church has placed so much emphasis on making converts that we have neglected to help people grow spiritually. We work hard to help people come to faith--to become a "Christian"-but can you identify any intentional efforts to help people become more like our Teacher?

Perhaps we have emphasized a wrong teaching about faith and its relationship to good deeds. Works has gotten a bad rap, while workless faith has grown more appealing-"cheap grace" as Bonhoeffer once stated.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not against a change of venue in one’s life but it takes more than that to grow closer to God. I think it takes developing spiritual disciplines. Some of you are saying, oh, oh, I don’t like where this is going! Allow me to explain before you stop reading.

Discipline is defined as "training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior." Discipline is not part of our nature, but it is a natural component of the Christian life. In fact, almost nothing of any significance in our lives is ever accomplished without it. Spiritual disciplines can be described as those behaviors that augment our spiritual growth and enable us to grow to spiritual maturity. Stay with me on this!

My suggestion is to start with a very simple exercise. Go to a specific place where you can be alone and meditate for a period of time. You could also take a Bible or just a tablet or an iPad and record your thoughts, if you want. Relax, get away from the busyness of life for a while. I sit on my back patio in the evening with a nice cigar and pray. Whatever you decide to do, do it on a consistent basis. There are other “spiritual disciplines” of course. Feel free to add your suggestions. 


Spiritual disciplines can provide us with a rewarding life. I hope you’ll consider it.

How Open Minded Are You?

If you shut yourself off from learning something new because you have a biased view of something old, you will never be able to expand your understanding. 


This includes the way you read the Bible. But when looking at Bible scriptures, sometimes you will encounter passages that seem to contradict something else you learned or understood. What seem to be contradictions or hard places can be opportunities for you to gain a greater understanding of what the whole of the Bible is saying.

Usually, when something you read seems to contradict another passage of scripture, it is because your knowledge of the whole of the scriptures is limited, and therefore so is your view. Think of it this way: It would be difficult to write a report on the cultures of the world if all you know is what you have seen in U.S. You may have some insight into other cultures, but it would take an intense study of other cultures, preferably in foreign countries, to get the most accurate report. If you are only familiar with certain portions and concepts of the Bible, your understanding of how it all fits together will be limited. This is why you have to have an open mind when studying - you may find that there are some huge pieces missing to the puzzle as you currently know it.

Another problem with contradictions are because the original languages of the Bible are Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. If one wishes to be a careful student of the Scriptures, some research concerning the biblical languages is important. Sometimes our English translations may not be accurate when it comes to certain words.

A treasured study tool for Bible research is the Strong's Concordance. It has a topical index, Hebrew and Greek Lexicons, and you can even search for Bible verses by the individual words in them. Find every Bible verse containing the word "compassion" or any other word, just like searching a dictionary! You might be surprised at what you find when you look at a literal translation. Young’s Literal Translation is also available online too.

So...the next time you read a Bible verse, especially a controversial one, take some extra time and do a little research. If you have an open mind, you might gain a greater understanding.


Have you ever changed your mind about something you read in the Bible ?

Growing Spiritually

You are a spirit with a physical body, not a physical body with a spirit. If you can accept this idea, it will change your attitude toward many things in your life. Here are a few tips I’ve taken to help with the process of spiritual growth and it’s still an ongoing journey for me!

Embrace Your Gifts and Talents

Recognize and further develop your intelligence and special gifts. Our talents are signifiers that lead us toward our unique paths. Follow your passion and you will soon discover where you fit in this world. When we squelch innate yearnings we lose our way.

Tie Up Loose Ends

Unresolved issues eat away at us emotionally and mentally. Tackle troubling things that need dealt with and put them to rest. In the meanwhile, learn not to allow future problems to be ignored. Our wounds fester when they are not attended to in a timely manner. Realize that buried problems always surface eventually. Dealing with difficulties as they arise rather than hiding from them is the best route.

Be Responsible in Relationships

Turn away from the "blame game" when it comes to addressing problems in your relationships. Be honest about the things that you have said or done that harmed the relationship. Own up to your own failures. Focus on changing your defeating patterns rather than expecting changes from the other person.

Let Go of Useless Attachments

If a thing no longer serves a purpose in your life, it is clutter. Clutter can be a physical thing or a belief that blocks your path. Holding on to things that don't feed you will instead eat up your energy. Free your space and expand your energy by getting rid of unwanted gifts, broken or useless items, self-defeating mental images, etc.

Confront Your Past Goofs

Everyone makes mistakes or regrets past decisions. Exposing our frailties and recognizing that we are not perfect frees us from feeling stupid or "less than." Bring light to those things that you are not proud of and realize that through these experiences you have learned great lessons, and have likely become a better person for them. Keeping negative actions hidden can overshadow our spirits with shame or depression. We all deserve to live with joy regardless of our imperfections.

Go with the Flow

This can be difficult for me. There is a fine line between caution and fear. We are meant to travel along a spiritual pathway. We are not meant to remain stunted in one place for very long. Yes, change can be scary. But, change is a path of learning, so why not follow it? When we resist change we can actually create chaos. Do you want to undertake a lesson down a path which you've chosen, or have lessons thrown at you down a path that was forced upon you?

Accept Delays

Another one I have a hard time dealing with! There are times when we need to be still. Impatience or frustration will not help any situation. Desired changes sometime take time to unfold. You may feel like you are ready to jump into a new arena... but wait. The situation or person that you are wanting to meet may not be ready for you just yet. It's okay to sit at the bus stop for a few more minutes, the bus will arrive eventually.


So what about you? Are there some things you could add to this?

I'm Stressed Out!

  Click here to see Phil's Video

I Have Trust Issues, Do You?

Phil shares about trust issues with God on video, click here if you cannot see the video.

Was Jesus a Kill-Joy?

Phil discusses a powerful misconception on video, click here if you cannot see the video.

Mentoring Matters

Do you have a mentor? Have you ever mentored someone? I was fortunate to become friends with a couple of great people when I first got involved in ministry who were older and wiser than me. In Christian circles we use the word disciple instead of mentor. In the scriptures Jesus had disciples and told his followers to make disciples. But what does that mean to you and me?

I don’t see a lot of that happening in churches and when I have seen some, it seems to be almost in an unhealthy way, leaning more towards controlling and manipulation.

But ssk any successful person this question, and they will surely tell you stories about how their deep, long-standing relationships with their school coaches or mentors helped inspire, guide, and support them throughout their career. Great mentor-mentee relationships, rich in knowledge, advice, and perspective, are often formed over months and years of conversations and shared experiences.

I know many of my readers have a church background and some of you have seen negative things when it comes to “leaders” trying to speak into your lives. The truth is we need mentors and should be mentors to others. Here are some suggestions on how we can accomplish this so that our lives as well as others can improve.

Being a great mentor (and a great mentee) starts with listening.

Listening is the key component of a mentor-mentee relationship,it’s important for mentors to listen and understand ideas, approaches, strengths, and weaknesses.

Being a good mentor and a mentee isn’t about giving great answers, but asking great questions.

Good decisions come from good questions. And as a mentor, be aware of what you know and what you don’t know, and develop an awareness about your biases.

Assume responsibility for your advice and your decisions.

As a mentor, instead of pressing a person on the decisions they made, work to understand their individual situation and rationale behind their initial ideas. At the end of the day, it’s the mentee who decide what is best for their lives. Listen, challenge, use, reject, and move forward. A mentor’s advice doesn’t have to be implemented.

I’m a firm believer that mentoring, (discipleship in the church setting), happens through relationships. Trying to force something will only cause frustration on everyone’s part.

So...did anyone mentor you? Are you mentoring someone? Is there an opportunity for you to be a part of this process?