Overcoming Anger

Anger can be a fire that can quickly get out of control.

Phil shares some tips that have helped him overcome anger.
 If you cannot see the video click here.

Reconciliation or Resolution?

Reconciliation or Resolution?

I think it’s possible to re-establish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences. We often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable.

It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. If you agree with someone about everything you probably don’t think much for yourself. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem often loses significance and many times becomes irrelevant.

The same diamond looks different from different angles. I’m all for unity, but not uniformity, we can walk arm in arm without seeing eye to eye on every issue.

This doesn't mean you give up on finding a solution. You may need to continue discussing and even debating--but you do it in a spirit of harmony. Reconciliation means you bury the hatchet, not necessarily the issue.

So....with whom do you need to restore a relationship with? Pause right now think about that person. Then pick up the phone and begin the process.  Yes, it takes a lot of effort to restore a relationship.

That's why Peter urged, "Work hard at living in peace with others" (1 Peter 3:11 NLT).

Do You Act or React?

When you spend your entire life reacting to people instead of making your own choices, it will weaken your life. “I merely did to them what they did to me.” Have you ever used that excuse?

I’ve been in ministry for a long time and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to react to people that have done me wrong. Sometimes I have not reacted well. I’m not proud of that at all. We all can do and say mean things. The crazy thing is, I got into church work to help people and yet I’ve found my family and myself wounded by those I was just trying to help.

There was a guy named Samson in the Bible. When you look at Samson's life, you see a guy pretty creative at getting even. Judges 15:3-5 says, "Samson said to them, `This time I have a right to get even with the Philistines. I will really harm them.' So he went out and caught 300 foxes and tied them tail to tail in pairs. He then fastened a torch to every pair of tails, lit the torches and let the foxes loose standing in the grain of the Philistines. He burned up the shocks and the standing grain, together with the vineyards and olive groves."  That's pretty creative! But that creativity ultimately led to his captivity and death.

What's the lesson out of Samson's life?

It’s better to control your anger and choose to act rather than react against everybody. Why spend precious energy on resentment when you can use your energy to help others? Yes, sometimes you will get hurt, but we need to see the greater results in the long run. Having a friend or two you can talk to makes a big diiference too.

Proverbs 29:11 says, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."

How do you the handle hurts that come along in your life?

Dealing With Flawed People

The truth is we get hurt by others because the world is full of flawed human beings. Those flawed people are in our marriage, our family, our work place, and yes, even our church! Shocking, isn't it?

On the flip side, we are also in that same category of flawed, imperfect people, we have and will at times hurt others too. No one is perfect, all of us screw up, all of us have gone down a wrong path, made wrong choices, and, as a result, we live with guilt. At times we’ve disappointed ourselves, and we know we’ve disappointed God.

So how do we deal with all this hurt, disappointment and guilt? The way to deal with guilt is to recognize the forgiveness that God gives us. We can recognize our own mistakes and know that he is faithful to forgive us.

Jesus said: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12 NIV).

Notice there are two sides to this, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”
We need to deal with the fact that other people have hurt us, which can leave us with feelings of resentment. God’s answer to that is to replace it with his peace – and that comes from forgiving others, just as God forgave us.

We never want to be get hurt, but in those moments we can choose to forgive others. We can realize if we hold onto resentment, it will eat away at our lives like an acid.

So the next time someone wrongs you, ask for God’s peace and offer forgiveness to the person who hurt you. I’m not saying it will be easy, in fact, C.S. Lewis said “Forgiveness is a beautiful word until you have something to forgive”.

It’s not always the easiest thing to do but it’s the right thing to do. The positive results will follow in all your relationships.

Is there someone you need to forgive, or is there someone you may have wronged?