Ditching the Guilt

Sometimes I ask people, “How do you view God?” There is usually a pause, an uncomfortable look of consideration, and then an answer that seems to be very common: “Someone who is disappointed with me—even angry at me.” It’s sad, but that description makes sense when you consider how many people feel guilty because they're trying to please an angry God.

Jesus strongly criticized those who piled on the guilt.

In fact, he had strong words for those who established and enforced guilt-inducing rules and regulations. He called them some very unflattering names: Vipers. Snakes. Hypocrites. Blind guides. Whitewashed tombs. 

Yikes! Imagining Jesus using those words evokes an image very different from that of the smiling Jesus carrying a lamb on his shoulders. But that’s exactly what he called the Pharisees and teachers of the law who made it so hard for people to come to God.

Unfortunately many churches use guilt to manipulate people into giving and serving. Get the right Bible, pray one hour every morning, do your QT with the latest church resource, fast twice a week, throw away your CDs, talk to three people a week about Jesus, homeschool your children, and vote Republican. It says it in Mark 38 somewhere, right? It also says, “Thou shalt jump through hoops for Me or burn in Hell.” (Sorry, i am being sarcastic). Do it or you will feel guilty.

There’s nothing wrong with praying, fasting, sharing your faith, or homeschooling. What this comes down to is the danger of a guilt - driven church life that is only religion.  Real life isn't how much we can do, but who we get to be. If I held a gun to your head and told you to read the Bible, you can act the part but it probably won’t do anything. The tools of fear, shame, and blame will only create restrained slaves. We are freed by God  from the shackle of guilt; so too we are free from false reputations of righteousness.

God loves and accepts you unconditionally. Period. Ditch the guilt.

Real Love Can Lead To Real Change

It’s my belief that the number one lesson in life, the number one reason we are put on this earth, is to learn how to love. God is love and he wants you and I to be like him.
It's easy to love people you like, the people you find easy to get along with. So if we are going to learn real love, realize that God’s going to put you around unlovely people at times. That can be uncomfortable.

The good news is it's really not that hard. We underestimate the power of a kind word, a friendly smile, a pat on the back, a genuine compliment, a word of encouragement, and a listening ear. I've seen so many lives changed when somebody takes time to pay attention to them.

There is not a person on this planet who isn't starving for attention. But a caring person is hard to find.
The Apostle Paul once said this, "I have no one else like Timothy, who genuinely cares about your welfare" (Philippians 2:20 NLT).

Does that sound like your workplace? Everyone looking out for his/her own interests. Those who really care are really aware.

People need affirmation, attention, and affection. Learn to care about the people you work with and show them real love. It will change their live and it will change you!

So...how can you show someone real love at your place of work?

It's A Risky Business

Many times, the one thing that keeps us from helping others is our own fear. Fear makes us unkind. The cruelest people are the most fearful people. Just imagine the fears the Good Samaritan could have had — they were all legitimate.

“Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’” (Luke 10:34-35 NLT)

There is a risk involved. He could have said, “What if I go over and help this guy, and it’s a trap? He jumps up, beats me up, and takes all my possessions and leaves me by the side of the road?” or “What if he rejects my help?” (Jews and Samaritans were divided by race, religion, and politics) or “What if I get blamed for it?”

Today we might say, “What if he sues me?” or “What if I don’t know what to do?” or “What if I don’t know what to say?”

There’s one big fear I don’t like to talk about. I often don’t want to get involved in other people’s pain and brokenness because it reminds me of our my own pain and brokenness. Some of us have the pain in our lives pushed down, and we want to keep a lid on it. But keeping a lid on it will only lead to more pain. Step out of your comfort zone and take a risk today.

What are the things you fear that may be keeping you from loving other people? How did those fears start?

To love your neighbor as yourself, you must be willing to take risks. Will you take that risk today?

Do You Act or React?

When you spend your entire life reacting to people instead of making your own choices, it will weaken your life. “I merely did to them what they did to me.” Have you ever used that excuse?

I’ve been in ministry for a long time and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to react to people that have done me wrong. Sometimes I have not reacted well. I’m not proud of that at all. We all can do and say mean things. The crazy thing is, I got into church work to help people and yet I’ve found my family and myself wounded by those I was just trying to help.

There was a guy named Samson in the Bible. When you look at Samson's life, you see a guy pretty creative at getting even. Judges 15:3-5 says, "Samson said to them, `This time I have a right to get even with the Philistines. I will really harm them.' So he went out and caught 300 foxes and tied them tail to tail in pairs. He then fastened a torch to every pair of tails, lit the torches and let the foxes loose standing in the grain of the Philistines. He burned up the shocks and the standing grain, together with the vineyards and olive groves."  That's pretty creative! But that creativity ultimately led to his captivity and death.

What's the lesson out of Samson's life?

It’s better to control your anger and choose to act rather than react against everybody. Why spend precious energy on resentment when you can use your energy to help others? Yes, sometimes you will get hurt, but we need to see the greater results in the long run. Having a friend or two you can talk to makes a big diiference too.

Proverbs 29:11 says, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."

How do you the handle hurts that come along in your life?

Don't Condemn Culture

I decided over thirty years ago I wanted to have a ministry like Jesus. Which means, I don’t spend any of my time condemning culture.  Why?  Because Jesus didn’t.  He said “I didn’t come to condemn the world; I came to save it.”

Many Christians spend a lot of their time condemning the world, saying how badly society sucks, then looking for a political solution to figure out how to get rid of the suckiness.  Neither of those work.  Spending all your time condemning society won’t change it, and looking for a political answer to solve the problem of society won’t change it either.  

God so loved the world he didn’t send a politician.  Why?  Because you can’t change people’s hearts by laws.  No law will turn a bigot into somebody who will love all the races.  Only God can get rid of racism in the heart.  Only God can get rid of selfishness in the heart.  No law is going to turn people who are selfish into unselfish people.  Jesus said, “I didn’t come to condemn the world.  I came to save it.”  So no matter what I’ve done, God wants me.  
 
Remember the story of the prodigal son, the kid who tells his father, “dad give me my half of the inheritance” and he splits and goes to sunset strip in Jerusalem and spends all his money on wine, women, and song – mostly women?  He ends up feeding pigs in a pigsty.  He finally realizes this doesn’t work so he goes home to his dad with a humble attitude, smelling of the pigsty.  The father runs out to greet his younger son.  He grabs him in a big bear hug, My son has come home!  Let’s have a party.  

He doesn’t say to his son, “Son, go and get a bath.  Get shaved.  Put on some clean clothes.  Get rid of that stinking pig smell and then I’ll give you a bear hug.”  No, he says I love you just the way you are.

God loves and accepts you just the way you are.