When The Glass Breaks This Christmas

The Christmas season is supposed to be all about peace, right? However, peace of mind can be in short supply. My son broke a glass the other day. Through his mistake I got this little epiphany. 

Many times the lack of peace of mind is because of the high expectations we put on ourselves and others. All of us have many expectations in life. Some of those are extremely important and healthy expectations.

But how many times have you been irritated when someone doesn’t do things the way you’re used to? Or when you’ve planned something carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped? Or someone breaks a nice glass?

This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us — it’s part of the human experience.

Once you accept the fact that you are only human, and that you will inevitably make mistakes too, you will be much less sensitive to the “wrongs” that others do to you. 

Here’s my epiphany: the glass is already broken.

The cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. The solution is simple: expect things to go wrong, expect things to be different than we hoped or planned, and expect the unexpected to happen. And accept it.

So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably breaks.

And when it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad — because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.

Expect your child to mess up — all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up, when they don’t do what they’re “supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to mess up.

Expect your partner to be less than perfect.

Expect your friend to not show up sometimes.

Expect things to go not according to plan.(Which always seems to be the case for me)

Expect people to be rude sometimes.

Expect coworkers not to come through sometimes.

Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes, sometimes.

Expect the glass to break.

And accept it.

Because God accepts you with all your faults.

You won’t change these inevitable facts — they will happen, eventually. And if you expect it to happen — even see it as already happening, before it happens — you won’t get so upset.

You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately, but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior, and ask them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and blow things out of proportion.

You’ll smile, and think, “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.”

You’ll have peace of mind. And that is a good thing this Holiday season. 

What REALLY is Important?

It was 20 years ago this week that one of my best friends decided to take a little vacation he and his family planned over the 4th of July Holiday. I was invited to tag along but I decided to work, even though I could have taken the time off. There will be other times to get together, I reasoned in my mind. The “other times” never came. He drowned in the lake they were camping by. I never thought my brief conversation with him the day before would be my last. His tragic death shook me up for years to come. I decided to make a change in my life priorities.

What are your priorities? Perhaps you have even forgotten about them- not intentionally of course. Life gets busy. Bills need to get paid. We are hit with an onslaught of distractions on a daily basis. But at the end of your life, with what do you hope to feel complete?

One of the things I don’t want is to be lost in a sea of regrets: “I wish I could have” or “I should have done this” or “What was I thinking?” It is so easy to lose sight of our true priorities. We can disconnect from those things we once considered our greatest blessings. I constantly have to re-evaluate my life in order to stay on course.

Life does happen. But make sure an autopilot life doesn’t cloud your perspective on what really matters to you. Take some time to get clarity on what it is you really want. Chisel through all the “surface” answers and get to the deep inner chambers of your heart. 

What REALLY is important to you?

This may very well be one of the most important questions you can ever ask.