Radical Relationships

As I’ve stated here in the past, I’m an introvert by nature, yet I highly value relationships. Sometimes in order to have great relationships you have to get radical.

If you’re really interested in in patching up a relationship, a big step toward restoration  is to attack the problem, not the person. We cannot solve the problem if we're consumed with pinning the blame. You and I must set bitterness aside in order to mend our friendship. I think that’s a radical way of looking at it.

A soft answer is always better than a sarcastic one. That’s difficult for me because I struggle with sarcasm, but when it comes to resolving conflict, how we say something is as important as what we say. If I  say it offensively, it will be received defensively.

"A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is" (Proverbs 16:21 TEV).  That’s radical compare to how most people live.

Another way to put it is, you are never persuasive when you're abrasive!

During the Cold War, both sides agreed that some weapons were so destructive they should never be used. For the sake of friendship, we must destroy our arsenal of relational nuclear weapons, including condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending, and being sarcastic.

"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29 TEV). That’s radical because most people will not do that.

"Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody" (Rom. 12:18 TEV). But peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride; it often costs our self-centeredness. That’s being radical because most folks won’t do that.

A paraphrase of Jesus' seventh beatitude says, "You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family."

Most of us know that excellence doesn't come through shortcuts or along the path of least resistance. By its nature, quality requires exacting standards and attention to detail. So premium products cost more. More has been invested in them, so their value goes up. I think the same is true with relationships. Get radical in the way you handle your relationships.