Stop and Smell

I took some time off over the last several months from blogging to slow down and get a fresh perspective, again. Yes, it seems like I have to do this often because I am so driven. What can I say? I work a lot and I enjoy it. I barely stop working on vacations. My body may be sitting on a beautiful beach, but my mind will still be racing ahead planning my next work-related move.

Once again I have decided to stop, (or at least slow down), and smell the roses. Before you roll yours eyes let me share this. I read an article a few months ago that had a profound impact on me. This article shared observations of a nurse who had cared for dying patients on their deathbed. She documented their regrets as they reflected upon their lives and their impending demise.

Did these people express their disappointment over not putting in more hours at work? Did they lament over work-related e-mails they wished they had answered or express remorse over business meetings they missed attending?

No. In fact, she found the opposite. The No.2 most common regret expressed to the nurse -- and the number one regret of men under her care -- was: "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." As the nurse noted, "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship."

The nurse also shared the other common regrets articulated by her patients, such as their disappointment in not pursing their dreams, failing to have the courage to express their true feelings and not allowing themselves to be happy.

Look, I realize that it's probably impossible for many of us to “stop and smell the roses'' but I do believe it is possible to slow down and sniff a rose or two. I have started to carve out moments from my work day to relax, take a walk, mediate, and enjoy my life. I suggest you do the same. Schedule some time on the calender daily to do that or something you love.

There's a 2012 study, which examined the actual benefits of "stopping to smell the roses," it found that people who appreciated the blessings in their lives tended to be happier. Thus, appreciating the "roses" in your life -- be they relationships, family, or even the beauty of nature -- will likely lift your spirits and increase your happiness.

I have made my decision, what is yours?

Mental Illness in Church

Over the past 6 years I have been open with the fact that I have struggled with bouts of depression. Last week, Rick Warren, famous author and pastor from Saddleback Church, shared with the world that his son, Matthew, had committed suicide.

 Matthew struggled from birth with mental illness, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. In spite of the best doctors, medication, counselors, and prayers for healing, the pain of mental illness never subsided. 

I believe Rick and his wife Kay did their very best to help their son but in many churches mental illness is not dealt with properly. I have been involved in church work for many years and I have heard so many say that mental illness was just a lack of faith, demonic oppression, or something else. Those can be real issues, but so is mental illness-- and they are just not the same thing.

The truth is there are people in churches every week and even pastors, who struggle with depression or mental illness. Pastors are afraid to admit they are dealing with this issue because some will say they are not fit to lead their churches. However if you read the Bible you will see that lots of great leaders dealt with depression, King David, Job, Moses, Paul, Elijah, and Jeremiah, to name just a few.

Christians need to affirm the importance of medical treatment for this issue. It should be handled like any other struggle, --with love and respect for the person dealing with it.

We  need to stop trying to cover up mental illness because church should be a safe place for those who fight with depression or related things. For far too long the church has propped up the misconception that Christians are immune to issues of mental illness. 

I hope you will feel compassion for those who are hurting this week and perhaps even reach out to those you know who struggle with this battle. 

A little bit of love and compassion can go a long way. 

Getting Free

My son sometimes pressures me to buy him something because he saw it on TV or a friend has it. Advertising manipulates us all the time; “Buy this product, or you’re stupid!” or “You’d be a fool not to take advantage of this sale!” Have you ever stood there while somebody offered you a little piece of food on a toothpick? You really didn’t like it, but you bought it anyway?

That’s called the fear of rejection. It not only allows others to manipulate us; it causes us hurt in many other ways. The fear of rejection pressures us to conform to peer pressure. We tend to walk like other people, talk like other people, act like other people, dress like other people. Why?

We don’t want to be rejected.

It keeps us from speaking the truth. Why do people lie? Why do people shade the truth? Because they’re afraid if they tell the truth, you won’t accept them.

Whom would you say you’re trying to please on a daily basis? Your co-workers? Spouse? Friends?

How do you overcome the fear of rejection? Get free! You need a new perspective!

Put the opinions of others in a proper place. In other words, don’t overvalue what they say. You have to decide whom you’re trying to impress. 

The way to overcome the fear of rejection is to live your life not trying to please everyone.

Easter is happening this weekend. Jesus did not seek the approval of religious leaders and he was willing to die to show it was not necessary. To me, Easter represents a fresh start! New Life, 2^nd chances! 

Perhaps you need a fresh start? Perhaps freedom from the fear of rejection, freedom from trying to please others.

How much more of your potential do you think you could reach if you stopped seeking the approval of others? Get free!