Contending With Contentment

After I moved out of the house, I would come back and visit my father over the Holidays. He would always ask me, “Son, are you happy?”  Deep down I think he was really asking me if I was content. 

Happiness is something that comes and goes. It is about excitement, fun, moments, actions, and material things. Contentment is something that lasts. It's about going with the flow, enjoying the satisfaction of work, and appreciating nature and life.

I was pretty content when I was young but over the years I have found myself struggling a bit.

Life can sometimes beat us down, especially if we are in a season of having to deal with hardships. We can easily get focused on the negatives.

Here are some tips to finding contentment, even if you are in the middle of a mess.

Be who you are

You can only be content if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

Forget the past

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

Take responsibility for your life

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People will annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent. But, you and I shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and we have the power to choose.

Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Relationships are where we can get true contentment in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

Develop multiple passions

Passions lead you to contentment. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

Count your blessings

Contentment will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be content.

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. - Philippians 4:11

Can you add something to this list? I’d love to hear from you.

An Inside Job

True happiness and success is very difficult to attract if you don’t know what you want from life. I specifically used the word “attract” because happiness and success are not things that you pursue, they are things that you attract into your life by becoming a specific kind of person. A person who walks in contentment.

If you have become the person that attracts happiness, you’ll be able to be content, no matter where in the world you are because your happiness is not dependent on your current situation.
If you have become the person that attracts success, you’ll be able to be content with all your endeavours. Your success is not entirely dependent on your current business or idea.

The problem seems to be that the majority of us feel lost, confused and are without a sense of purpose. We have no direction in our lives and seem to be floating about aimlessly. Going from relationship to relationship, job to job, day to day, seeking happiness in material possessions.

If you (or someone you know) are unhappy with life, could it be because you don’t have a direction or sense of purpose in life? Every single action you take and every bit of energy you spend should be contributing towards achieving your goals in life.

The kind of goals I’m referring to don’t have to be material gain or even some sort of measurable achievement. A goal can be something as simple as living a life full of love and happiness with friends and family. A goal is something that makes your life worth living.

Happiness is not something you pursue. It’s something you attract. You attract happiness by stopping to look for it in people, or situations. By caring for others. Once you learn to be content simply by being alive, by breathing, by being you, and by being thankful for what you’ve got…that’s when happiness will start coming to you in other areas of your life too.

I’m reminded of a passage in the Bible where Paul says...

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12) Paul had a connection with God and thus direction that led to his contentment.

There’s no denying that you can experience fantastic happiness in relationships, your passions and your successes. However, if you base your contentment on these things it will be one big roller-coaster of ups and downs. If you’re able to achieve contentment from within yourself, based purely on the fact that you’re alive, then external sources can amplify your happiness but never truly take it away.

True Happiness is an inside job.