You're Better Than That!

Do you remember how, as a kid, you wanted so badly to be in the in-crowd that someone would say to you, "I dare you to do this" and suggest something that was either stupid or that put your personal safety at risk? You probably did it anyway, because your desire to be accepted overruled the desire for safety.

Most of us spend our entire lives trying to earn acceptance. We want to earn it from our parents, peers, partners in life, from people we respect, maybe even from people we envy. The drive to be accepted is a deep drive that can influence the kind of clothes you wear, the kind of car you drive, the kind of house you buy, and even the career you choose.

We do it because we love the feeling of being accepted. When you’re accepted, it does tremendous things for your self-esteem. The truth is, God accepts you, and that acceptance is not based on your performance. You don't have to earn his acceptance; you don't have to prove yourself to him or anyone else. There are over 6 billion people on this planet; I think it’s okay if a few don’t accept you. It’s their loss.

We need to stop thinking, “I’ve got to be a good boy or good girl to be accepted." God has already accepted you. There are other people that have accepted you too. If you’ve got people that are constantly down on you, find some new friends. You don’t need those negative people in your life. 

You’re better than that.

Keys To Rewarding Year

One of the keys to a great year ahead is being at peace with yourself and others. When you are able to accept yourself the way you are, and the way God loves and accepts you, you'll find self-acceptance and you won’t feel insecure, so imperfect or incapable. That doesn’t negate the need to change but by learning to accept yourself you will take your life to a higher level. Besides a strong increase in your self-confidence, you will also save time and energy you can spend on other valuable things. 

Self-acceptance is not an easy nor a very fast process, but you can start with the steps described below to see some results.

Accept in 2013 that you will make mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes and everybody should make mistakes. Not doing everything perfectly is an important part of life. Without making mistakes you are not able to learn.
Actually, talking about ‘mistakes’ doesn’t help you very much. You can simply substitute the word ‘mistakes’ by ‘results’. Everything you will do will lead to results. Results are neither good nor bad, but depending on the goal you can label them as either desirable or non-desirable.
Are you getting results which are non-desirable? Then you know you should approach your goal in a different way.
Making a mistake is not a judgment about who you are and what you can do. It is only a non-desirable result from your actions.  You can and should learn from this. Because he who can interpret results can adapt his behavior in the future.
So don’t be scared to make mistakes and don’t let it affect you too much. Learn of your mistakes and carry on with your life.

Accept you can’t change the past

Your past is forgiven. Things that have happened can’t be changed anymore. You can’t change the past. What is, is. Period.
Therefore, don’t be too worried about everything that has happened. Look into the future and accept your life the way it has ran it course so far.
Understand that your past has formed you to become who you are now, where you are now and what you are doing now. The future is wide open. Do you want to let a troublesome past behind you? If so, choose a different path in 2013.

Accept the opinion of others

Yes other people will always have an opinion about you. Try not to see this as problematic. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and their own judgment about something. Know that other people will never fully know you. They don’t know your complete story, so any judgment whatsoever has no basis.
This doesn’t mean that this can’t hurt. It’s an art to make the positive voice within stronger than the negative voices without. Don’t let others humiliate you. You know that you are an amazing person created in God’s image.
You don’t have to ignore other opinions, but you can value them objectively and decide for yourself whether to do something with it in your life or not.
Other people aren’t always right, so don’t just take what they say as the truth. Especially when this has a negative impact on your self-image.

Accept your own responsibility

You and I are responsible for everything we think, everything we say and everything we do. You are also (partly) responsible for the results of your thoughts, words and actions. On top of that, you are responsible for noticing the connection between your actions and their results.
What does this mean? It means that you are responsible for your own happiness. When you want to be completely happy you should do this yourself. Nobody will stop by to make you happy, no matter how much you hope for this to happen.
When you feel bad and you don’t tell anybody about it, there will be nobody to call you to check how you are doing. You determine a large part of your own life, so take your responsibility and accept that you have to take action yourself if you want to feel happy.

This new year can be a great one if you move forward and don’t stay stuck in a past of guilt and condemnation.

Blessed Are The Weird People

Perhaps you see things differently than others. You have different taste in clothing. There are certain issues in life you are passionate about but others are not. Perhaps other people consider you weird or a misfit because you don't "fit in". Congratulations! You have been given a gift by God! Even if others may not accept you, accept yourself!

You Can’t Please Everyone.

It’s all very well saying accept yourself but how do you go about accepting yourself?

Life will throw some crap at you and other people will dislike you, simply because they have different ideas from you or are jealous of you, or are envious. Whatever the reason is that someone dislikes you, don’t try and win their approval, instead move on and strengthen the relationship you have with the people you care about. If you concentrate on winning the approval of people you don’t like and who don’t like you, you are taking your power and energy away from the people that really matter.

You Are Not Who You “think” You Are

We have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this “image” of who we think we are. For example, you may have been told that you had a big nose or an ugly smile, and a certain part of your psyche has accepted that as fact, when in fact, it was just someone’s opinion and not reality. Now you go through life thinking this is real, and have a hard time accepting yourself because of it. Know that everyone sees things differently, and that not one opinion is more important than any other….except your own! Stop putting stock into what others think of you and how they perceive you. Understand that what some people may see as fault, some may see as quality. Therefore, the only constant is your own opinion, and since you know yourself better than anyone, start embracing everything that is great about you. God already does.

Your Uniqueness is Your Strength

There are over 6 billion people on this planet and not one is exactly the same as another. Life is all about everything being particularly unique. Do not waste your time wishing you were someone else. Sure, you may find inspiration from other people & admire other things, but you should be aware that there is only one of you in this world, and you owe it to life and to yourself to be the best “you” that you can possibly be! Whatever is unique about you, accept it with open arms, as this is what defines you and what makes you who you are in comparison with other people. You may have grown up thinking that being different is not good, because people around you told you so, but in reality, uniqueness is a very valuable asset. So learn to cherish it.

Be Open to Change

Life is all about changing. Life on earth isn’t the same now as it was 100 years ago or 1000 years ago. You are probably a very different person than you were just a few years ago. This is because you are in a constant state of change. Resisting this, and having an attitude about always wanting to remain the same is self-defeating. We all change, like it or not. Open yourself to this fact and you will have a deeper understanding of your own life and how you should be progressing through it. Some people are afraid of change, but change is good. You don’t need to worry about losing yourself to change in case you like who you are right now. Just know that whoever you are now, you are slowly getting better and better, and that is not a loss of oneself but an acquisition of more of the goodness that makes you who you are today.  Whoever you might be today, it is not a final state.  That in itself, is hope for a greater tomorrow, which should make accepting who you are today that much easier.

Blessed are the weird people- - poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters, troubadours --for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.  - Jacob Nordby