Mental Illness in Church

Over the past 6 years I have been open with the fact that I have struggled with bouts of depression. Last week, Rick Warren, famous author and pastor from Saddleback Church, shared with the world that his son, Matthew, had committed suicide.

 Matthew struggled from birth with mental illness, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. In spite of the best doctors, medication, counselors, and prayers for healing, the pain of mental illness never subsided. 

I believe Rick and his wife Kay did their very best to help their son but in many churches mental illness is not dealt with properly. I have been involved in church work for many years and I have heard so many say that mental illness was just a lack of faith, demonic oppression, or something else. Those can be real issues, but so is mental illness-- and they are just not the same thing.

The truth is there are people in churches every week and even pastors, who struggle with depression or mental illness. Pastors are afraid to admit they are dealing with this issue because some will say they are not fit to lead their churches. However if you read the Bible you will see that lots of great leaders dealt with depression, King David, Job, Moses, Paul, Elijah, and Jeremiah, to name just a few.

Christians need to affirm the importance of medical treatment for this issue. It should be handled like any other struggle, --with love and respect for the person dealing with it.

We  need to stop trying to cover up mental illness because church should be a safe place for those who fight with depression or related things. For far too long the church has propped up the misconception that Christians are immune to issues of mental illness. 

I hope you will feel compassion for those who are hurting this week and perhaps even reach out to those you know who struggle with this battle. 

A little bit of love and compassion can go a long way. 

I Just Wanted To Die

About four years ago I was really stressed out and felt like I wanted to just die! Yesterday I read former NFL star Junior Seau was found shot to death at his home Wednesday morning in what police said appeared to be a suicide. He was only 43.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to die? Are you thinking about suicide right now?

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Five things to think about.

First: You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

Second: Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it.

Third: People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

Fourth: Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help.

Fifth: Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Resources For Help:
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine  1-800-999-9999
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line.
Call a psychotherapist.
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen.
Send an anonymous email to this blog.

Don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.